“Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured” (Mark Twain), This I have found to be true indeed. Many can not control it, till it has done irreparable damages before they come to their senses. Anger is an emotion and I know we all go through at one time or the other because we are humans. It is not out of place for one to go through that emotional upheaval at one point or other, it is the extreme case that bothers me.
We need to be very sensitive to the extreme case, thats when I suggest we control it by putting a check to it before it controls us. I am not comfortable with an encounter where a lady destroys every property in her home each time she has an issue with her spouse or vice versa.
These tips can help us in a situation like this
Whenever we get into arguments with others or our spouses in the heat of the moment, it’s easy to say something you’ll later regret. So take a few moments to collect your thoughts before saying anything — and allow others involved in the situation to do the same. I call it taking a break at that point in time.
Timeouts aren’t just for kids, it can work magic for us adults too just like it does to our kids. Give yourself short breaks during times of the day that tend to be stressful. A few moments of quiet time might help you feel better prepared to handle what’s ahead without getting irritated or angry. I tend to like being alone in my room with the door shut and the blinds down for this time out while I lie on my bed to relax.
Try to be calm, by taking deep breaths, as soon as you’re thinking clearly express your frustration in an assertive but non-confrontational way. State your concerns and needs clearly and directly, without hurting others or trying to control them. Speak out your feelings.
My mum believes that walk out from an argument does not make you weak but is a sign of maturity, take a walk from the scene of confrontation. Physical activity can help reduce stress that can cause you to become angry. If you feel your anger escalating, go for a brisk walk or run, or spend some time doing other enjoyable physical activities.
Instead of focusing on what made you mad, work on resolving the issue at hand. Has your partner done something wrong look for the right time to discuss it. Is it something happening at the office stressing you out, have a talk with a friend you trust or your partner. Remind yourself that anger won’t fix anything and might only make it worse.
Forgiveness is a powerful tool. If you allow anger and other negative feelings to crowd out positive feelings, you might find yourself swallowed up by your own bitterness or sense of injustice. But if you can forgive someone who angered you, you might both learn from the situation and strengthen your relationship.
You can lighten the topic to help diffuse tension. Use humour to help you face what’s making you angry and create a relax atmosphere. Possibly, any unrealistic expectations you have for how things should go. Avoid sarcasm, though — it can hurt feelings and make things worse, try to inject a funny anecdotes into it to create laughter.
When your temper flares, put relaxation skills to work. Practice deep-breathing exercises,Take it easy by taking a deep breadth. You might also listen to music.
Anger is a bad and dangerous emotion and like it is said in Africa, “Anger does not give birth to a good child.” Meaning the outcome of anger is never favourable, we always regret the result of anger that we let loose, so control is what we need.